where the moon shines

I realized just now that the reason why I don’t get as many things done (as in finished/completed) as I want to, is that I do them all at the same time.

While I ponder on what to blog…

• …I go through one of my MSN emails to clear out unread mail.
• …I go through my domain email, which doesn’t have as much stuff as my MSN emails.
• …I logon to EC and go card dropping
• …I surf through EasyHits.
• Today, I also tried to edit some of our team videoke photos (too dark)
• And I also surfed through the Adgitize network (first time)
• Some days I also browse through digital scrapbooking sites and blogs
• While I try to scrap a page

These are things I can think of at the moment.  I would call it multi-tasking, but it can also be called – spreading myself too thin. Haha.

Oh, and I do all these when I really should be sleeping.

My goodness.  I wonder when I’ll ever get updated with P365 posts?  Up at DigitalMe (that’s what I’ve taken to calling my photo blog, Digital Memories), I’ve only posted up to Day 14 so far.  And well, here are the stories behind the photos (clicking the photos will allow you to view them in DigitalMe):

Ahh pantry food.  I don’t think I’ve ever blogged about pantry food.

We are entitled to one free meal per shift at the company pantry.  You get two choices of viands, unlimited helpings of rice, a dessert and a glass of your choice of available drinks (iced tea for me – red, apple, or regular).  I have been working here for almost four years and I’ve come to the point where the tastes and smell of the pantry will stay with me for the rest of my life. Haha.

I don’t eat there as often as I used to.  On the one hand,  it’s not much fun eating alone; on the other, I don’t have time to enjoy a full meal.

When dining alone, I like sitting by the window.  This was something I’ve been doing since back when the pantry was located at the 6th floor, facing the MRT.  I used to imagine what goes on at the MRT station, watching the comings and goings of the trains.  When the pantry moved to it’s current location at the 4th floor, the window view drastically changed.  It’s not as conducive for musing while you eat, but it’s not so bad…

Alfred and Vanette were my frequent lunch dates in the past two to three years.  Now that they’ve left the company, I find myself sitting here again.  Today though, I had lunch there again with Edsel. 

Now this here for Day 13 is a rare photo.  By now you should be familiar with my office window right?  Well, on a few rare nights back in January, the console and TV were set right next to my station and my agents were able to enjoy playing video games while we were in a meeting.  Some of them hogged the controllers so they could play while on avail time.  Now that’s not the reason why this is a rare photo.

These two guys I was able to capture on my camera phone are no longer with the team.  They have already left the company.  Had I a choice, I’d have kept them.  To be honest, the high attrition rate for my team in the past four months is really alarming and something that really frustrates me.  I have sent out SFC (separation) notices more times in the last four months than I’ve had to in the previous year.

This attrition is actually a direct result of our high absenteeism – something that I thought I was already able to handle and finally address, but it keeps on recurring every couple of weeks.  Before moving to this current account, I already knew that absenteeism was one of their pain points.  I used to think that it won’t happen to my team, but well, guess what?  I was wrong.  I’ve ran out of ideas, now I’m prone to believe that the team name I inherited from their previous manager is jinxed!

There are days (and nights) when I just crave for a Mister Kebab meal.

No, I don’t actually order their Chelo Kebab because my favorite is the Keema with Eggplant, with yoghurt sauce on top, with buttered rice. Oohh buttered rice. Almost good enough to eat without the Keema. Haha.

I first had a taste of Mister Kebab when we had a family dinner at the original location along Quezon Ave, near the corner of West Ave.  We had seen it featured on TV and decided to meet up there one night.  It’s not your typical family restaurant.  That night many years ago, the place was full! We had a small table for the four of us (mom, dad, kuya and myself), and we tried out different dishes.  I liked the food but didn’t like the place much – it was too dark and stuffy for me.  Now – I love the new place and how cool and open it is.

It’s one of our favorite breakfast places now (or dinner for us since we go there after our shifts).  It’s very affordable and the portions are just right for us. Oh, and it’s open 24 hours so it’s very convenient for when our shifts end at 5AM.

Anyway, I’m not sure if anyone else cares about these stories but they serve to remind me of many things and that’s why I write here.  The photos are not very pretty though since they were captured using my camera phone and at the beginning of the project…

Sometimes I really wish I had a car.  Having one would allow me to go on weekend day (or night) trips – something that I’ve really wanted to do.  Something my mom and dad used to do a lot (they would drive through Rizal, or Laguna, or even up to as far as Bicol!).

Last Sunday at the SM North, there were cars on display with low downpayment schemes.  For awhile there, Alfred and I imagined bringing home any one of those vehicles – small cars, all of them so they wouldn’t be gas guzzling machines.  It was a bit funny too, because imagine two huge beings like us  alighting from such minute cars! Haha  Sadly, we can’t really afford the monthly payments.  Maybe when someone already rents the condo so it can pay for itself (and give me some pocket money too), and if I regularly receive my BOE again (incentive program at work), then Alfred and I will be able to pay the monthly fees and take care of our other needs at the same time.

For the time being, I will rely on my brother and my dad to drive me to places.  I will continue looking at dad’s miniature cars, like these Carrera slot cars that look like a million dollars.  Imagine driving in life size versions of those miniatures?  That would be so cool!

Every week it’s all the same.  I wake up on a Tuesday morning and think about the many reasons why I don’t want to go to work.  Work isn’t until tonight, but my mind is filled with things I’d rather do than sleep in the afternoon to wake up in the evening and report for my first day at work for the week. Ugh. 

I am so tired of complaining. So tired of just going through the motions.  Yet every week (or is it everyday?), I complain.  Yet every week I also resolve to stop complaining, and to give my job my very best.  I do give my 98% to the job, but I still can’t help complaining about a regular job keeping my away from other things I’d rather do.  I know everyone has those kind of days, but for me it’s an everyday thing. A constant struggle.  And it’s just not healthy.

And today, Alfred isn’t around to cheer me up. He isn’t here to tell me why I should go to work.  Or, why I shouldn’t.  

Yesterday, while reading PS I Love You, I remembered something that Alfred said awhile back.  He doesn’t want to grow old.  He’s not afraid of getting old, he just doesn’t want to reach the stage where someone will have to take care of him full time.  He doesn’t want to grow old enough to be needing incontinence supplies, if you know what I mean.  

Anyway…

I saw an ad on the papers yesterday about a short course on baking in one of the culinary schools here.  I forgot to read up on it yesterday so I just did today.  My heart fell when I saw the tag price – 38000 pesos.  I don’t have that money and I don’t want to ask for a loan from my parents because I have an outstanding loan with my brother for the condo improvements.  A loan that I have currently no means to pay for.  Ugh.  I hope they schedule another batch for that class a few months from now.  Maybe by then I’d be able to put together some money.

Speaking of money…

I’ve noticed that money’s been tight for me lately.  It doesn’t have anything to do with the financial crunch that the whole world is experiencing.  At work, team managers receive an incentive based on their team performance and we look forward to this every month.  Since I moved accounts though, it’s like I’ve been robbed of that incentive.  With my former account, I always get it and it was more than enough to reward my top agents and cover the payment for my housing loan.  Now, it’s barely enough to buy treats for my team.  That sucks.  If I was still getting that incentive every month, I’d be so confident to ask my dad to loan me the money for the baking class and to promise to pay it back within the year.  But I don’t.

Okay, this has really turned out to be a very negative post so let me end with something different…

Earth Hour is happening again on March 28th, 8:30 PM local time.

I’ll make sure we do this at home.  And I’ll talk to my cousins and my grandpa so they’ll switch off their lights too.

I just don’t know how feasible this is going to be at work.  Our peak hours are at night, and I am not sure management will agree to switch off the main floor lights even for just an hour.  Our PC monitors will still be running anyway, and that generates enough light for me. Haha.

I also uploaded some pictures at DigitalMe, go check ‘em out I wonder when I’ll be able to catch up posting for my Project 365 at the rate I’m going. haha

Last night, just before going to bed, I ripped the plastic covering off the book that I bought many months ago.  After reading the first few chapters, I went to sleep (not because it was a boring read mind you, but it was really waaaay past bedtime).  In the morning, I woke up and picked it right up and devoured it.  I read untill well after lunch.  I stopped only for a few minutes to pour myself some toasted oats and mueslie with milk for breakfast; and then again for a snack of yoghurt; and finally a Twiggie for lunch.  Oh, I had put it down to watch the first E-heads reunion concert in August last year on DVD (the one I didn’t see Live!), while I put some Tea Tree Oil antiseptic on Zune’s insect bites.

But I finished the whole thing.  And just like the effect the movie had on me, there were moments that were just heart-wrenching.

I’ve got to say, I don’t know if it’s just Gerard Butler and all his sexiness, but I seem to like the movie version better.  But remember, I liked the movie version a lot. So even while I say I liked it better, that by no means translates that I didn’t like the book.  I did.

Though the screenplay adaptation was different in many aspects from the original novel, it still remained true to the core messages that Ahern communicates through her pages.  Finding your soulmate.  Love.  Friendship.  Loss.  Grief.  Picking up the pieces.

If the movie focused on the love between Holly and Gerry, and in Holly learning to open herself up for a new love, the book was more about the reality of grieving.  How it’s a selfish process, really, even when you don’t mean it to be.  Though Gerry’s letters were very much the center of it all, there was also the very important role her friends played in Holly’s road back to living her life without Gerry. 

Oh, another difference is that the book is set entirely in Ireland, versus the movie being set in America with the ladies’ vacation having been in the land of the Irish.  

I found myself wondering again, what would I do if this happened to me? How would I move on?

 
I have a confession to make, I’m a little loony this weekend.  That’s probably why I haven’t been posting like crazy, and why I finally picked up this book to read. It’s Alfred’s first day at his new job so that meant a break in routine.  I usually stay up on Sunday nights and have breakfast with him on Monday morning when he gets home from work.  During my rest days, he is always around to worry about what we’ll have for lunch; even if he had to work on those nights, he’d be game if I had wanted to go out.  Today was so much different.  He wasn’t here. I had talked to him on the phone many times during the course of the day, but it still felt like I was losing something you know?  I won’t get to see him everyday anymore, and I would be sleeping alone again for most of the time.  There wouldn’t be breakfast or lunch dates at work to look forward to.

I’m crazy, I know. He’s still here and he’s just an hour away, and that’s where he was before he kind of semi-moved in here (we really have an odd living situation) and everything was just fine. But I’ve just been so used to having him around all the time, I don’t want to go back to how it was before. I surprised myself though;after his long day at work and running around to fix his stuff, he called to tell me that he didn’t have to be back at work until 11am tomorrow morning, which means he could actually come over now if I wanted him to. I had given him the choice to decide for himself, and he very well wanted to come. But I pointed out that it’ll be tiring for him, considering he had had to go shuttling around so much today. So there, we decided for him to stay home instead. It was the right thing to do, right?

Boy do I miss him already.