Pursuing our Best Life - one word and one stitch at a time
The husband and I met and fell in love in 2000 but got married only on the special day 12-13-14. We know everything about each other, and surely know what we’re getting into, right? How does finally getting married change things? What happens now that we are legally recognized as husband and wife?
There are sure to be many challenges ahead of us, and being a Newbie Wife isn’t going to be easy. Let the journey to wedded bliss unfold!
Have you heard the news? Another December 2014 bride is on the family way. That makes 3 pregnant celebrities who walked down the aisle around the same time that I did.
They are pregnant. Expectant moms. Yay!
I am not.
Are we trying? We said we would. And we said that we would make lifestyle changes so we can really have a fighting chance of having a baby soon. So far, none of what we planned has yet happened. And there is no baby on the way.
Now how do I really feel about it? Every time I hear about another woman my age getting pregnant, I think I worry more about getting asked about when it will be my turn. It’s that more than feeling sad or envious that I am not yet pregnant. I don’t have the right to be sad, or envious. I haven’t done everything to prepare myself and my body for that blessing.
I don’t exercise.
I still eat pretty much anything I want to.
I could be more intentional in how I spend my spare time and more proactive at home.
We haven’t seen a doctor to help us find out what we need to be doing to make sure we can conceive. I have lived with PCOS and hormonal imbalance since college. They say it really won’t be easy given that. We are both obese. But there are people with similar circumstances as ours who don’t have difficulty conceiving.
Why haven’t I/we done any of these? Maybe because I am afraid that after all the time and effort, we’ll find that we still can’t make babies.
Truly, even after your union in marriage, husband and wife continue to be separate. My husband (wow, this is the first time I refer to the boyfriend as such on the blog) and I can be as different as white from black, hot from cold. Not in all ways, but surely, in many ways. The choice of drinks is but one example.
Our different personalities were highlighted to me again on Saturday night, after finding ourselves in the middle of a vehicular accident. We were driving home from celebrating Amir’s Moving Up Day in Fairview, when I exited Elliptical Road to Quezon Avenue and a delivery truck suddenly hit me on the driver’s side.
We were in the middle of conversation, and were abruptly shocked. I felt the jolt, heard the metal crash, but suffered nothing else but shock. After hitting the breaks and watching the truck run through my car and skid in front of me, we then saw as the truck turned on its side and continue to slide a few meters away from us to the side of the road. After a split-second of shock we decided to move my car to the side of the road and find out if the driver and his passengers needed any help. By then we saw them climbing out the passenger door window.
If you know my husband, he tends to be a hot head. He would jump into things heated and wouldn’t back down specially when he thinks he’s right. So he took care of confronting the other party, while I stayed in the car to collect myself, stay calm, and contact family and the authorities.
The Emergency Hotline 117 operator tried to be calm and assuring –
Hinga lang po ng malalim Ma’am. May nasaktan po ba?
It took awhile before personnel from MMDA arrived, and even longer for the Police Inspector. There was not much talk. The other party was blaming me, we were blaming them. A tow truck arrived, and we went on our way to the precinct. My cousins arrived to lend support. We signed papers, paid fees, had a very brief talk with the other party, before finally being able to leave. It took about three hours from the time of the accident until we were able to go home.
On the drive home we continued to talk, despite also being exhausted. I was just thankful no one got hurt. He was fuming because the accident made him late for his lakad with friends that evening. Yet something else that is different about us: That night, I stayed with family and we de-stressed with pizza; He went out again to drink with his friends. I must stay I didn’t like that, but I had no strength to argue.
When he’s excited the way he was pumped up that night he tends to talk too much. Yes, too much. And I have to admit it hurt, some of the things he had to say. Hurt in the sense that I wanted to challenge his statements because I’d really rather have him make better choices. Hurt, but I chose to love him despite of that.
That night, I decided to love him and understand that he deals with stress differently. That perhaps there is no harm in letting him steam off with his friends. When he came home with the sun almost up, with a kiss to wake me up, I again made a decision to love him and understand that we have different ways of showing we care.
Three months into this marriage gig, and I’m finally learning something.
For married folks, in what ways are you different from your partner? Do you still argue about those differences? Share your thoughts with this Newbie Wife 🙂