A Weak Moment

I didn’t think it was possible for me to get even bigger but I have! And I don’t have anyone else or anything in particular to blame for it. It’s just me and all the food the boyfriend and I have been eating. And all the failed attempts to get moving.

No, I haven’t weighed myself again. I don’t need a scale to tell me what I already know.

Truth be told, I am so big it is so hard to move now. The littlest things tire me out. Ugh. Okay. I exaggerate, but I’m sure you can imagine what I mean.

I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life that I was ashamed of how I looked. I have always been fat, but I’ve always always felt beautiful. (I wish the old Peyups.com was still around, I would so link to my one and only published post there right now). But now I look at my photos and I cringe.

Don’t get me wrong – this is not me putting myself down. This isn’t about low self-esteem because I have so much confidence in myself. I just really hate the way I look right now. It doesn’t help that my face has a dark aura lately. Double ugh.

But I won’t make another pledge or another promise. I’m so tired of doing that and then failing.

Boyfriend! Bring that Wii downstairs and set it up in the living room. Imma dance this fat away! Hahahaha! I don’t care how looooooong it takes, but someday these curves will squeeze into lingerie corset, as long as they have plus size Winking smileI mean seriously, will I ever graduate from plus size? I don’t think so. But I can graduate from being morbidly obese. And I will, so help me God!

Confession: Apart from seeing very recent photos and not liking how I looked, this post is most likely inspired by the photos of all the beautiful brides and their weddings that I’ve been browsing through. It’s so frustrating that they’re all so skinny and they’re weddings are so beautiful and grand and happy and sweet. All so fairy tale like. Mine’s going to be just as happy and beautiful in our own little way. Brr. Okay. Enough. Rant over.

We’ll be back soon with regular programming. Smile