Have you heard the news? Another December 2014 bride is on the family way. That makes 3 pregnant celebrities who walked down the aisle around the same time that I did.
They are pregnant. Expectant moms. Yay!
I am not.
Are we trying? We said we would. And we said that we would make lifestyle changes so we can really have a fighting chance of having a baby soon. So far, none of what we planned has yet happened. And there is no baby on the way.
Now how do I really feel about it? Every time I hear about another woman my age getting pregnant, I think I worry more about getting asked about when it will be my turn. It’s that more than feeling sad or envious that I am not yet pregnant. I don’t have the right to be sad, or envious. I haven’t done everything to prepare myself and my body for that blessing.
I don’t exercise.
I still eat pretty much anything I want to.
I could be more intentional in how I spend my spare time and more proactive at home.
We haven’t seen a doctor to help us find out what we need to be doing to make sure we can conceive. I have lived with PCOS and hormonal imbalance since college. They say it really won’t be easy given that. We are both obese. But there are people with similar circumstances as ours who don’t have difficulty conceiving.
Why haven’t I/we done any of these? Maybe because I am afraid that after all the time and effort, we’ll find that we still can’t make babies.
So there. That’s how I really feel about it.