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I think. Therefore, I am. Stressed.

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Uh-huh.

I think I am stressed out.

At work yesterday, I was panicking. I felt like I needed to have so many things done when in reality, there wasn’t really that much to do. What’s more, no one was pressuring me. It’s not like I had a witch behind my back pushing me to work work work.

Stressed out symptom number one: irrational panicking (okay, I invented the term).

My left eye is twitching. This happened before, maybe two years or so ago. Wait, I don’t know if it’s appropriate to say it’s twitching. More like tremors on the upper eye folds. You know what I mean? So anyway when it happened before, I went to see an eye doctor (thank you Medicard). He looked at everything and asked me all sorts of questions. I have a long history of eye issues. Visiting our eye doctor every few months was not at all a new thing for me. But that time, it wasn’t really my eyes that had a problem. It was nerves.

Nah, I don’t mean I was nervous. But the tremors were some kind of involuntary nerve contractions or whatever they’re called. And why are they doing that? Doc said I may be suffering from a lot of stress. He prescribed something to calm it down but ultimately advised me to rest, and avoid stressful situations.

Honestly, I don’t know what I did to make it stop. But they did go away eventually. Now it’s back.

Stressed out symptom number two: eye fold tremors (I am so good at naming symptoms, aren’t I?).


I stayed until end of business day at work yesterday – 1PM, when my shift technically ended at 11AM. Okay, so that’s only two hours of unpaid overtime so that doesn’t really say much. But the thing is, that’s my last day at work. I should be sooooo looking forward to getting home and starting my weekend. In fact, I had all good intentions to round up some girlfriends and see The Time Traveller’s Wife (the boyfriend is not interested in seeing it :() on Friday evening. But guess what? I arrived home, gave ma the meds she asked for, took her blood pressure, ate lunch that my brother cooked (tinola, perfect for the weather), checked my personal mail, tried to FB and blog… and then I was so overcome by sleepiness. I decided to take a nap, and the next thing I knew was that it was already 10PM. I slept the entire afternoon and most of the evening away!

So much for my plans for a movie date with any one of my girlfriends 🙁 And I also missed all the teleseryes on TV 🙁

And it isn’t even as if I felt relaxed and rested when I woke up. I felt awful, actually. I woke my brother up (he was supposed to have left for work already but he overslept), heated the food, and we had dinner together. Ma was still curled up on the couch, she’s been seek for three days already.  Hay.

Sat back in front of my computer and thought it would be a long night of Restaurant City, and finally getting down to reading up for my Oh Shoot! class.

I was to have none of that though. I was still feeling not so well. I decided to take a cold shower (it’s been raining so it is colder than normal) thinking that is bound to make me feel better. I took my sweet time. At 1AM I was back on my PC and trying to have a conversation with Tracy. But I was to have none of that either.

A few minutes later – I was soooo sleepy again. I decided to rest for a bit, next thing I knew – it was 7AM.

Stressed out symptom number three: sleepiness

There are a few more symptoms but I don’t have time to list them down anymore. I am just surprised because I’ve been doing pretty well lately, and even just enjoying time at work (suprising no?). And then this just hits me. Hmm.

How about you? How are you doing?

Wading through

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september 010

september 011

september 012

I don’t know the boy, but I took these photos while checking where the floodwaters have risen up to outside our compound. This was yesterday morning, September 9th.

UP!

, 5 Comments

After work on Wednesday morning last week, Alfred and I went to Greenhills to see UP!

We LOVED it!

It’s not necessarily a children’s film (though they’d enjoy most parts of it), it’s a couple film in my opinion. It was very touching, quite inspiring really, Ellie and Clark are a good example of why two people should get together and get married. They enjoy each other, they enable each other. They dream with and for each other. They work together to achieve what they both want. And they didn’t need kids to complete their marriage. Having each other, and their dreams, was enough.

I can watch this film over and over again, it made me feel good in a way I can’t describe. The music makes me think of Madeleine in Paris, very conducive for daydreaming about my next big adventure. Can’t wait until it comes out on bluray, I will definitely get a copy.

There’s another movie I’d get when it comes out on DVD, He’s just not that into you. I’ll have Alfred see that too. With these two movies, he’s bound to pick up something good. Haha 🙂

Eat, Pray, Love

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After posting about this book months ago, I finally have it in print.  It was enlightening to read this woman’s journey to self discovery. She set out to straighten herself after going through a tumultuous divorce, but she ended up doing so much more.

I am amazed by her journey, and I envy her at the same time. I can’t even watch a movie by myself, let alone travel to three different countries on my own. And with very little planning at that.

She doesn’t claim to have the formula for healing a broken heart, or mending a broken spirit. What she does is just relate her experiences, and by doing so, I think she has shared many gems that will help countless women find their way in the world too. She also talks of finding balance, and isn’t that something we are all looking for?

She inspires me, not to travel alone but to chart my own spiritual course. It would be wonderful to once again understand what my personal relationship is to God. I pray to him, sometimes. I thank Him, sometimes. And that won’t do.


Recently, I saw these beautifully made rosaries online. They are being made by a family, and they sell it to raise funds to care for their baby’s medical bills. Read up on Hannah’s story, and order a rosary or two. Just let them know verabear sent them your way. Anyway, as I was saying… So I saw their rosaries and there was a particular style of the cross that appealed to me but I felt it would look even more beautiful matched with a certain type of beads. I just felt like I had to own one according to a certain specification that they are even willing to accomodate. The thing is, I don’t pray the rosary. In my experience growing up in the Episcopal Church in the Philippines, I haven’t seen anyone pray the rosary.

I attended an all-girl Catholic high school and I learned to pray the rosary there. For some time, I prayed the rosary regularly at bedtime, and whenever we were asked to do so in school. I wasn’t bothered by this and I most certainly didn’t see any conflict with our Church. I didn’t have any special requests when I would say the rosary, I was just praying. I still prayed in a way that I was conversing with the Lord, but somehow following the beads of the rosary was something I found comfort in doing. I have to be honest though, there were countless time that I’d fall asleep in the middle of the rosary! Do you think Mama Mary minded those times? I don’t think so.

So I told the boyfriend about me taking up the rosary, and he was like, are you going to use it? He’s Roman Catholic and he doesn’t regularly pray the rosary. Still, he said he’d show me how to do it if I’d already forgotten. Hmm. We’ll see.

Back to the book. I highly recommend this to everyone, not just women seeking balance in their lives. She’s very witty too, and I can hear her voice in my head while reading (but maybe that’s because I listened to parts of the audio book before I actually read it).

There is talk that a studio has bought movie rights for the book, that’s definitely something to look forward to. I wonder who’s playing Liz? What about Luca Spaghetti? And Richard from Texas? And Felipe? That’s going to be one yummy movie for sure. Haha.

Oh, and I have a new word too – attraversiamo!

Payday Foodstuff

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I don’t remember ever looking forward to another payday as much as I did to this one. I’ve had to pay off my life insurance premium and the due date fell on the same day as my ginormous credit card bill, and also the same weekend that my house loan payments were due. In short, I was close to being penniless this week. Well, nah that isn’t really true. And I don’t regret having to spend all those hard earned money. After all, when I grow old it would mean I will have something to live on 🙂 Seriously, I am so thankful that my parents and my brother are quite wise with their money that they bugged me to take out that life insurance and then invest on the San Ben unit. If you don’t have any life insurance or pension plan yet, or even a health plan, go ahead and search for policies to suit you and your budget. Try Blue Cross North Carolina, or just read up so you know what to expect or ask from your friendly neighborhood insurance salesperson.

Anyhoo… For the first time in a long time, I bought food from the bazaar to share with my agents. And they seemed surprised 🙂 Well, for one I’ve got a new team (yet again) and they didn’t know that about me. I’ve been moved to the Escalations team, for god knows why (!). I must admit I sometimes feel like fish out of water (although ten months back to phone support I still feel so not used to taking sup calls and doing phone time!). But I also feel good about this. I think I might be able to contribute something to this team. We’ll see.

There was some sad news from work this week too. I must admit it got me depressed for a few days, and I don’t think I’ve come to accept it yet until now. But I refuse to dwell on things I cannot control. Thing just won’t be the same, or is it that things will slowly go back to what they were? And that’s not necessarily good. What will be will be.

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