There’s been a lot of body positive posts and videos going around that are targeted to promote sensitive and inclusivity. Now, there is no single view of beauty or sexy. They come in all shapes and sizes. Thin is no longer in. All good.
How does this affect me?
I am big. I am bigger than most girls. I wear 5 times bigger than the average person at work. I have no facts to base that from except my perception of their sizes. I am not going to be surprised if many are XS, and most fit a Medium-sized shirt. All my clothes are 3XL or larger.
In recent years, maybe in the last 6, I’ve been able to wear pretty clothes. I used to be just a shirt and jeans girl, not necessarily by choice, but because there weren’t many options for my size. There’s a lot of big blouses and big dresses, but I felt like they weren’t for my generation. They were always for the Madam, the older ones, that is. I wear more dresses now than I’ve ever had since I was a little girl. But I still don’t wear sleeveless tops or dresses without a cardigan on top. In this weather? Heh. See it’s not my size that prevents me from wearing sleeveless shirts or from baring skin. I want to be confident in a bathing suit or even a bikini but I’m not! My arms go from fair to dark, top to bottom. No matter how many times I get tanned, the colour just doesn’t get fixed. It’s also my dark pits, and the dark lines on my neck/nape. Yes. I’ve got all those other issues that I think would make people who see say ‘yuck.’
How can I blame them? I feel exactly the same way about those darn things. Naliligo naman ako, I take a bath regularly and scrub myself down. I’ve used several different products to make them go away but nothing seems to work.
Frankly though, why do I care? Why do I care so much about these things? There is so much more to me than my appearance. And if the people who like me now would change their mind after seeing me exposed, well to hell with them.
So for my birthday lunch with the family a few weeks ago, I didn’t wear a cardi over my dress.
And no one gave me crap about it.
Of course I only had loved ones around the table with me, and it was my birthday weekend. But there were lots of other diners at the restaurant that day, and I really didn’t care to check if anyone was repulsed by how I looked. I was busy being happy, and acknowledging my blessings.
Then I wore a tank top to the grocery last week. So will I be ordering a two-piece bathing suit soon? I still don’t think so.
Anyway, here’s the family shot of that lunch two weeks ago. Amir was trying to eat his mashed potato right off the plate so he could get a mash ‘stache. He is hilarious!