The 100 Day Project

You Don’t Have to Agree With Me

Today, I am sharing thoughts on marriage. Having been married for just a little over three years, I feel like being such an authority on married life already. NOT!

I believe that our relationship, like all others, require constant work. But, it doesn’t have to be a tiring and tedious ride. Though we are still new at this marriage gig, we have been partners now for a good 18 years. Throughout our journey together, and in observing family and friends, and watching so much TV, surely we’ve learned a few lessons, right?

Sometimes, I like to reflect on these lessons and talk to the husband about them. Here’s one of those lessons.

Don’t expect to agree on EVERYTHING. It’s just never going to happen.

Very early in our relationship as boyfriend-girlfriend, I realized that despite our similarities, and no matter how we make an effort to align our goals with each other’s – we are essentially two very distinct individuals.

Before I move on, I acknowledge that there are core values that are non-negotiables. And that it is important to agree on your #couplegoals – after all, you both have to be going in the same direction. This isn’t about that.

No Magic Pill

Saying I do, moving in together, or switching your Facebook profile to In a Relationship. None of these is a magic pill that allows you to suddenly agree easily on every choice or decision you have to make. Things won’t automatically line up the way the Sort button on an Excel file does.

It would be nice to find a partner who sees everything the same way you do. But not everyone will find one. Liking the same things or having the same values and opinions on just about every issue isn’t what’s important. I believe that what matters is how much value we place on our partner’s preferences and opinions.

It matters more that we are able to set aside our own biases – even for just a short time – to hear our partner out. We can go on to argue our point, but always, the end goal is to understand the other side better. Personally, I don’t always seek to convert the husband to cross over to my side – but I’d like to know that he listened to me and sincerely considered my point.

Tips on how to deal with your differences:

  1. Be respectful while explaining yourself.
  2. Empathize.
  3. Listen to understand.

And always, keep your arguments on point. It is not about YOU and how you feel about each other, it’s about the issue at hand.

The hubby and I don’t share the same world view. I tend to see things in a more positive light, and approach social issues with respect to the many structures and layers involved. I support actions that are long-term and truly address the root cause. He tends to have a darker, more sinister view. He leans towards practical, short-term, and quick solutions. So yes, we disagree on more than just where to eat, but I find that recognizing our differences, saves us from being hurtful towards each other.

Finally, 8 of 100.

On Adulting

Monday was a national holiday commemorating the Day of Valor. As it is with long weekends, many took the opportunity to take a vacation and create memories with their families and friends.

As for me, well, perhaps seeing my Facebook status may give you an idea of how I spent the day.

I had deliverables due early that evening so I cut my weekend short and sat down to work. All the while my mind was drifting away, thinking that I would rather be doing either of these things instead:

    • Visit Amir and Arkin (my nephews who are growing up sooooo fast!)
    • Crochet/Knit
    • Read a book
    • Do more meaningful work
    • Have an adventure!

Yeah, adulting is hard. Being an adult with responsibilities sometimes means prioritizing the less fun stuff.

And when I say hard, I’m not referring to having to get a job and spending so much time working. Sometimes that’s the easy part.

It’s about being responsible for yourself and your own needs.

And when you have to be responsible for others. Of course, no matter our age, our actions always affect other people in some way. But when your actions and decisions mean life and livelihood for someone else – that can be scary shit.

But adulting is fun too.

Though I miss Christmas vacations and long summers, I don’t miss sitting for long hours in a classroom. I really did not enjoy going to school. It surprises me, to this day, that I did pretty well as a student. Believe me when I say that I understand kids who are difficult in the morning of a school day. I was THAT kid.

So I love NOT having to go to school.

And…

Uhm…

I am pretty sure there are so many times when it’s fun being an adult but I am for sure having a hard time recalling right now. Hahahahaha!

7 of 100 🙂

Puppies Day Out!

On March 13, Chiclet gave birth to three healthy puppies.

First photo - Chiclet nursing Pandora, Roku, and Shadow

First photo – Chiclet nursing Pandora, Roku, and Shadow

We are so proud of Chiclet! Truthfully, we thought we had a week before delivery, so imagine the surprise when the husband came home from his shift to find two wee puppies! The third pup soon followed. Buti na lang marami kaming cardboard boxes from grocery shopping – he was able to make a bed for the new mom and her puppies lined with soft clean rags. No need to buy a new crate.

Sometimes, I feel like Chiclet needs a break from breast feeding. We find her snuggling elsewhere every once in a while like she’s craving a moment of peace!

Sometimes mama just needs a break. #chicletonyxapitana

A post shared by Vera S. Ocampo-Apitana (@verabear) on

When the puppies turned two weeks’ old, we took them out for their first visit to the Veterinarian. They were so precious crammed into one big shoe box! They were well-behaved, and didn’t fuss. Not even when they got their vitamin shots.

I’m still amazed that our baby Chiclet carried three babies in her tummy, and gave birth all on her own. She has been a very good parent. Sirius, on the other hand, has been left out a little because Chiclet doesn’t like him fussing over the babies at all. We just make sure we give him cuddles too so he doesn’t feel so bad.

So now, we’re a household of two humans, two adult dogs, and three puppies.

See how behave the puppies were while getting their shots:

That’s 6 of 100, blogged!

Stitch Count – April 2018

Time flies when there is so much happening around you, doesn’t it? Isn’t it also true though, that at the end of a certain period of busy-ness, one realizes how much time has truly passed?

For example, I can hardly believe we are well into the second quarter of the year already. March went by like a blur, and so have the months of January and February.

One of my goals this year is to keep on crocheting and knitting. 2016 was a very productive year for me as a crafter, but 2017 was a different story. In fact, the projects I finished so far this year were those that I did not finish last year. Let’s have a look at those projects:

Baby Blanket for Kayzel

My best friend lives overseas with her family. Her daughter Kayzel, was turning a year old, and I decided to make her a blankie. I followed the Fluffy Meringue Blanket tutorial by The Crochet Crowd. I did not get to personally hand over this beauty when they were here early this year, but it’s finally going home to Kayzel by the end of this month. Finally!

Here’s a sneak preview of the pink and blue blanket:

Learning the Brioche Stitch

Knowing that it was going to be cold in Taiwan for our trip, I decided to make myself a scarf. It took such a long time though, because I also made the decision that I was going to knit it (thinking it would be faster), and that I was going to learn to do the Brioche stitch.

Well, I did learn a new stitch. I also picked a lovely ball of Sugar Free Yarn for the project. But what I didn’t pay attention to was the need for a lifeline. A lifeline is literally a life saver for those times when you realize that you missed or dropped a stitch. The lifeline is a string that you pull through a good row (and re-attach every few rows) so that when you make a mistake you won’t have to frog the entire fabric. Let’s just say that I frogged so many times.

I ended up not finishing the scarf in time for the trip.

But it’s done now, and even if it’s a little short (I only had one ball, and did a double pull), and has a lot of imperfections, I love how it turned out.

Secret Paths Shawl for Vanette

For a dear friend who is moving to a colder geo, I decided to whip up the Secret Paths Shawl by Johanna Lindahl.

I loved working with this particular yarn (also Sugar Free), and this was my first time to make a triangular shawl. It really came out lovely.

Currently, I am working on a laptop case using hexies. I don’t LOVE the colors I’m using because I just went with left over yarn from previous projects, but I’m pretty sure I’ll still love the end product. Hope to share that soon!

What projects have you completed this year? Doesn’t have to be yarn projects, do share! 🙂

5 of 100, stitched!

Stitches and Words

Today, I made the decision to rename my webspace.

Welcome to the newly re-christened STITCHES & WORDS!

Daily life is filled with these – stitches, because I crochet and knit, and words, because I love to read (and now also rekindling my love for writing). I realize that right now, that is what this space is all about, and really why I’m doing #100daysofblogging in the first place:

re-stitching this old platform

It’s hard for me to remember now why I started my first blog in 2004; I also can’t recall why I kept doing it with some regularity for 10 years. I’ve blogged in at least seven (7) different spaces in all that time. That probably means I loved it. Right?

But what was it I loved about broadcasting my life online, pre-Facebook? Was it the idea of articulating my thoughts and feelings into a (sometimes) cohesive Post? Was it interacting with readers (not saying I had any), and fellow bloggers? Or maybe it was knowing that whatever message I had for the world, I had a platform to express it. Perhaps, all of the above.

It seems easier now to figure out why I stopped.

There are so many creative, dynamic, and beautiful blogs out there. And I let myself compare my work with theirs, as if it was a competition. What’s worse? I declared my blog/s the loser.

In 2014, I talked about a Reboot. I came as far as changing the layout, writing an About page (which now needs rewriting), and then not much else. This time around, I’ll just keep writing and see where this goes. The blogging scene may very well be a huge jungle where everyone fights for their audience, and sponsors, but I don’t necessarily have to take part in that.

Let’s just keep writing shall we?

4 of 100, published!

Oh, but subscribers, readers, and sponsors would be nice too! ?

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